My hope is in Jesus Christ alone

 The following is the text from my dad's funeral 6 years ago this week. He had asked me to speak (along with my brothers and sisters) but didn't give much direction beyond that. I had no idea of anything else that would be said that day but wanted to make sure that those in attendance would understand where my hope is. My focus would also be on the last part of his life as I would be speaking after the others.

I would like to focus this time on the last 8 months. It has been a year of physical challenges for my family. A time filled with stress partly because it seemed every minute has been filled with something to do and partly the unknown future. In late January mom had brain surgery to remove a tumor. This had a great effect on mom’s health but the rest of the family as well- including dad. Both mom and dad have been in and out of hospitals this year. At one time I figured someone from our immediate family had been in the hospital this year more days than not. And with that amount of time in the hospital there were many days that both of them were in the hospital or rehab facility at the same time. They were in the hospital for a period in July where she was in room 652 at Stormont Vail and he had been in 752 (exactly 1 floor above) the day before.  I may have my facts mixed up but this is my dad’s funeral and we kids heard the same stories over many many times with different facts in each story. He may have done that on purpose just to make sure we were paying attention.

Recently dad had been experiencing trouble breathing because of excess fluid in his chest cavity. Because of this he went in twice since late Spring to drain the fluid. It’s a procedure that he didn’t particularly like. It seemed to help his breathing for about 3 weeks each time but after 2 trips to the hospital he had said he had enough and didn’t want to go through it again so he decided to check into hospice care to weigh out all his options. The main thing he was worried about was how he was going to communicate this with mom. He was always concerned about my mom and her well being.

    Which brings us to the last 58 hours of his life and how the Lord was in control of every element of the things that progressed. Wednesday August 15th we (the kids) had set an appointment at Kelly House in Meriden at 8am to tour and see if they were going to be the right place to take care of mom. She was going to need 24 hour a day care.I picked dad up and we met my sister Kim there and were guided through the house. The 3 of us thought it would be a perfect place for mom. She would be within 10 minutes for dad or the 4 kids that live in the Topeka area. Dad had been hoping that mom would be able to come home and live but she wasn’t progressing as well with rehab as Medicaid would like and that’s why we were looking. Dad’s next worry was how to break the news to mom that she wouldn’t be coming home at the present time. The good part about this is that Rolling Hills has done an excellent job of providing for mom’s needs so she became more open to the idea of 24 hour care away from home. I then took dad back home and he seemed to be in good spirits and health-all things considered. I think the weight of caring for (worrying about) mom was making dad very weary. During the day Wednesday I went out and saw mom and explained to her the Kelly House tour from that morning and later in the evening went back and visited with dad that she was aware of what was going on.

    The events of the next 2 days came on very rapidly. The whole process of dad’s failing health was an issue of a few months that he was told by the VA Hospital doctors that he needed more care than he was getting but wasn’t allowing help to be had. Thursday dad had called his Hospice nurse (she usually comes on Friday) to tell her that something wasn’t right and too see if she could come check on him. In the meantime the Lord was at work- as He always is. A friend of mine, Butch had called dad to see if he could come down and talk. Butch was able to sit and talk with dad for about an hour and neither knew that dad’s time was about up- less than 36 hours. The reason for Butch and my dad getting together was that they had many of the same personal issues and struggles as well as similar health issues, they also had an interest in the same hobbies. If Butch wouldn’t have been prodded by the Holy Spirit to go see dad then the opportunity would have never been there again. The point here is that if God is telling you to do something just do it- you may never have that opportunity again.

    Thursday afternoon we transported dad to the House at Midland. The people there were very gracious and welcoming. They not only took care of dad but also met all our needs. Thursday evening dad seemed settled into his new surroundings and ready for his 5 day stay- which was the original plan.

    God is still in control and had a plan. I got a text at about 10:30 Friday morning that dad’s breathing had become much more labored and difficult. My job was to get mom and bring her to Midland so her and dad could see each other. After we brought mom into see dad he was coherent and able to communicate in spite of the pain that he was experiencing. Mom spent most of the day in the room with dad, with many other people coming and going throughout the afternoon. In order to ease dad’s difficulty with breathing they started giving him pain medication. The medicine made him breath easier but he wasn’t really awake after the first hour or so of everyone being there.

     At about 6pm I had talked to mom about getting her back to Rolling Hills. I knew this would be the last time she would get to see dad so I didn’t want to rush her. We got her into her wheelchair and moved her to the side of the bed that dad was closer to. We prayed and then mom got up out of her wheelchair and kissed dad on the forehead.

    We got mom outside into the car and left but within 4-5 minutes got the phone call that dad had quit breathing. It was a phone call like no other. I could sort of hear what was being said and the reason I say “sort of” its because of what was not said. My wife Kim on one end kind of asking a question and my sister Kim on the other end kind of telling her what was going on. They were both having trouble finding any words. It is understandable in a situation like this. But in all the things that happened over that 58 hour stretch the Lord was at work. And the Lord is still at work today. He has been at work since the beginning of time and will be until the end of time. The one that created everything is at work.  He allowed my parents to spend time together and when both of them were tired, God allowed my dad into his presence. One of my constant prayers is asking God that I may have the privilege to see his hand at work and He has answered that prayer many times over. God is also at work in everyone’s lives that is here today as He has been in my parents lives.

    It is a difficult thing to lose one’s parents. They play a key role in shaping our lives and they are the ones we go to when we first need comfort as  young children and after becoming adults. The loss of a parent is a loss of a source of emotional support. But people that know Jesus Christ can find comfort in more than our families, we can find comfort in the God of creation- He knows us better than we know ourselves and understands our pain and through our pain He will grow us and heal us supplying the peace and hope we need.