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Showing posts from September, 2023

He's not here

 Facing the father wound involves looking in two directions. The first is looking to the past to look at wounds that happened as sons in the past. Discovering these wounds can help us understand who we are and why we're that way and to recover from these wounds. There is power in the past. We can either be bound up by it or to use that power for good. Without understanding these past wounds we are doomed to repeat them. Another benefit of this is to avoid inflicting these same wounds in the future. This is looking in the direction from a father's point of view. With the absence of fathers in a household these wounds today are happening at an accelerated pace. Sons (and daughters) need their fathers. Part of the journey in becoming a authentic man is to close the gap between generations and be there as dads for our children. That involves taking steps to be involved in our children's lives. Don't be a passive observer- be an active participant. A first step in that direc

A son's glory

 A son's disconnect from his father can create a huge wound. This separation can occur not only because a father is absent from the home, but also with a father whose priorities lie in other things that don't include raising children. We can say that it is a priority, but our actions are the indicator of where our priorities are. I used a plural to point out that we maximize the number of priorities we have. By doing this, we lessen the importance of each and every priority. Our children learn from our behavior and not from our empty words. Proverbs 17 states "The glory of sons is their fathers." Anything a father does is remembered by his son- this could be remembered for a life time. This relationship starts early. My father taught me many things as I grew up. Not all of these learning experiences were positive. (Most were). Every son needs reinforcement from his father. A son needs to know he is loved. A son needs to know his dad is proud of him. And a son needs to
  All men have issues. The issues that I'm focused on now have to do with a man's past. Our past has an effect on not only our present but also our future. The past could have to do with a disconnect from our dad. It could be influence from friends or even influence from the society we live in. More sons today live without a dad present in their life than at any other time in the US history- this creates problems. One of these problems is that a mom tries to do more than she is equipped to do. Another "past" problem is not being connected with other men- there is no such thing as a self-made man. All men have accomplished goals only with the help of others. Being connected to other men means much more than discussing the weather or sports- it's much deeper than that. It involves commitment and trust which take time.The world is short sighted and overcoming issues involves planning. Developing a plan to succeed. One issue all men are born with can't be overcome

Live with the end in mind

 The first step in living a productive life is to look back on the things in your past that have shaped you're life as it is today. A man needs a plan to get to where he wants to go- a game plan for life. The first step of creating this plan is to look at the past and realize how it has shaped you. I've lived most of my life without a plan. I did have a basic plan for my financial future but not a real plan for my life as a whole. My "financial plan" has changed so that plan isn't something I can use for my life. I needed a plan with an eternal perspective in mind. A plan that uses the past, takes account of the present, and has a definite plan for the future. Growing up I thought my struggles were unlike anyone else's. I didn't share the struggles I had because on the outside, those around me seemed to have it all together- no problems. My perception was and is wrong and I found that out as I started to develop close friendships with others. I am not alon